We all know it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, but where do you let your cockapoo rest his weary head at the end of a long day? A recent study showed that more than a third of pet owners let their dogs sleep on their bed. We, as in me, and my cockapoo, watched the report on TV together, and I swear I saw her giving me a rather feeble attempt at a “you see? We’ve got this!” look.
If you, like me, allow your pooch into your boudoir at night, you’ll know a few things about a dog’s sleeping habits others won’t.
Nod your head in agreement if you recognize any of these, or feel free to tell us what your cockapoo does if it’s not here.
2. A cockapoo in the bedroom means you’ve got someone to blame the rather foul smells on. And there are a lot of them.
3. Your dog shows little to no remorse expelling those foul smells directly into your nose as he snoozes on your pillow, with his butt in your face, no less.
4. There is no hot water bottle or microwaveable bean bag that comes anywhere close to your four-legged bed-warmer.
5. You are able to sleep in a perfect ‘Y’ position. If only there was some kind of recognition for that.
6. Only you’ll know that dogs don’t sleep curled up in a tight little ball. No, instead they spread out like a spatchcock chicken, sound asleep while you’re hanging onto the mattress by a butt cheek.
7. If you’ve ever moved a dead body (you haven’t?) you’ll know a sleeping dog is heavier. Whether you’re trying to move them over, move them off you or right off the bed.
8. Except when it’s playtime. Dogs are no longer heavy when they decide it’s time to bounce and dive and jump all over the place, like Tigger on a good day.
9. Don’t try getting it on with anyone while your cockapoo is in the room. It’s pointless. You’ll feel their beady eyes on you the entire time, or they’ll howl for help (because you’re being attacked, of course).
10. Dogs aren’t quiet when they sleep. In fact, they jibber and jabber more than some humans do when they’re in la-la land.
11. Same goes for snoring.
12. Dogs find the strangest things to bring to bed with him. A chewed-up old bone they found in the (muddy) garden or an old chew stick.
13. As meek and mild as your canine companion is with you, I dare you to try and reclaim some of your bed while he’s on it.
14. Should you ever be held as a prisoner of war you know you will survive the worst kind of torture in the world; extreme discomfort (lying in one position the whole night), incessant snoring, farting in the face (a common torture method around the world), and sleep deprivation.
15. You wouldn’t change your sleeping arrangements for the world.